Since childhood we somehow have trained ourselves or have been trained to ask questions or to look out for Questions. For eg: Before every exam, what we ask our teachers is for the "Most Likely Questions"(right from School days to even now in Post Grad). During classes, teachers encourage asking questions. We love to Question, dont we? Question the strict policies, question the system, question the questions themselves. So, who the hell is going to give answers? Ooops, Thats a question again.
You can argue, Asking questions leads to discoveries and inventions and ultimately results in progress of mankind. However, according to me, what happens is this:
We get some answers, some remain unanswered and we again question the questions which have been answered.....leaving the unanswered questions just that...un-answered!!!
Asking questions is deemed fashionable and is deemed to be indicative of a person's intelligence. But what about answering??? Why isnt answering encouraged as much as questioning is? Isnt it more important?
As you can see, I am a part of this "Q" breed as there are more Questions I have posed than answered in this post and well....I aint too proud of it.
In our country, we find most of the things "Question"able but very few people "Answer"able and till this equation reverses, we would be only doing the catching up job!!!
Signing off for now....In search for the "Answer Mark" or the "A mark"......Till then keep the "Q"s coming!!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Summer Project Review: Hahahaha!!!
"You have a new mail" was a pop-up on my Outlook at 5pm on Wed(19th May)..It said
"The 2nd Summer Project review is scheduled tomorrow,20th May 12 noon onwards as per the below schedule in the Board Room.PFA template for the ppt. Revert for queries, if any."
Ronak Shah: 13:10 to 13:20
Now what the Ppt has to consist of is:
1)Objective of the project
2) Project Outline
3) Learnings from the project
4) Challenges faced, if any
5) Feedback/ Suggestions, if any
And this is where my "hahahaha" began! Thinking of what to write for each should have in normal circumstances made me shiver in my unpolished, soiled boots but somehow I couldnt resist the LOL!!!The phrase "if any" should have been added this way:
1) Objective of the project, IF ANY
2) Project Outline, IF ANY
3) Learnings from the project, IF ANY
4) Challenges faced, it's MANY
5) Feedback/ Suggestions, it's MANY
10 mins of gibberish needs to be filled and I managed to do that.Challenge was to present this bull crap to MD-CEO and VP and probably then they would have the last laugh..."hahahaaha"...
Well...What happened inside the board room during those 6-8 mins was def funny even though I was at the receiving end!!
MD: I am running short of time, you have exactly 5 mins to wrap up!
RS (in my mind) : Wowwww.....Sure sir,I can do it in 3 mins...wanna bet ur bottomline?
RS (actually) : Blah Blah Blah Blah....Objective,Outline...Blah blah blah
MD: Ok..Fine..Now tell me, At the end of 8 weeks, How would you say that your project is a success? What are the parameters on which u will judge yourself?
RS (in my mind) : Kaam bhi main karu, Parameters bhi main set karu, Judge bhi main karu....Evaluate bhi main karu....My stipend needs to be quadrapuled!! Anyways, the day I leave, project will be a success because cost of having me here would be 0.
RS (actually) : Sir, if my strategy is accepted by the company it will be a success.
MD: So, if they dont accept it, you will be a failure, right?
RS (actually) : No sir...uhmm....uhmm...
MD: Quantify it.Dont give me subjective lines.
RS (in my mind) : Quantify??!! ZERO is a quantity...should I tell him that the Proj has ZERO chance of success?! Nope...Here is what I will say...
RS (actually) : I will write around 5 blogs per week and that would make it 25 blogs/posts at the end of the proj and at the same time increase followers of my blog!
MD : Ok,I am noting it down. We will see during Final review whetehr you achive this goal.
RS (in my mind) : #$%@^&* !! What did I just say!!?? Foot in mouth...25 posts!!Itna gobber kidhar se launga?!!
RS (actually) : Sure :)
MD: Ok, tell me, Have you thought of anything "Out of the Box"..."A Radical Change" to increase the number of hits on the website...Say something that will get me a 1000 hits on the website in 1 day or 100 leads in a week..
RS (in my mind) : ROFL!ROFL!! 1000 hits 22 yrs mei bhi aaye hai kya?!!! I feel like hitting him 1000 times!!
RS (actually): Yes Sir...blah blah blah blah....I have done this, tried doing that...
MD: Ok...Good...Anything else based on ur study that you would wanna say?
RS (in my mind) : Good?! Did he pronounce "Goo" as "Good" eh?!! Well done man! :D
RS (actually) : Thank you sir...I just feel that Omnitech is lagging behind in Social media mktng compared to competitors and hence this is a "Goo"d project!Theres lot of catching up to do for the company...Blah..Blah...
MD (in his mind, m sure) : Yes Ras$%@...You dont need to tell me this...We are lagging behind in most things....you Could have said something +ve...You are screwed!!
MD (actually):Thanks. All the best.
I went back to my chair and the MD got a call and he left....Satan send he was, just for my ppt and the earlier one...The rest had a field day as MD never returned again!! Did he go to kill himself for recruting such idiots or was he in the loo laughing all the while on the presentation!!! I would never know...And it doesnt matter too....Sab ka din aata hai...I still have a smirk on my face....Was an intersting Review...Hahahahaa!!
"The 2nd Summer Project review is scheduled tomorrow,20th May 12 noon onwards as per the below schedule in the Board Room.PFA template for the ppt. Revert for queries, if any."
Ronak Shah: 13:10 to 13:20
Now what the Ppt has to consist of is:
1)Objective of the project
2) Project Outline
3) Learnings from the project
4) Challenges faced, if any
5) Feedback/ Suggestions, if any
And this is where my "hahahaha" began! Thinking of what to write for each should have in normal circumstances made me shiver in my unpolished, soiled boots but somehow I couldnt resist the LOL!!!The phrase "if any" should have been added this way:
1) Objective of the project, IF ANY
2) Project Outline, IF ANY
3) Learnings from the project, IF ANY
4) Challenges faced, it's MANY
5) Feedback/ Suggestions, it's MANY
10 mins of gibberish needs to be filled and I managed to do that.Challenge was to present this bull crap to MD-CEO and VP and probably then they would have the last laugh..."hahahaaha"...
Well...What happened inside the board room during those 6-8 mins was def funny even though I was at the receiving end!!
MD: I am running short of time, you have exactly 5 mins to wrap up!
RS (in my mind) : Wowwww.....Sure sir,I can do it in 3 mins...wanna bet ur bottomline?
RS (actually) : Blah Blah Blah Blah....Objective,Outline...Blah blah blah
MD: Ok..Fine..Now tell me, At the end of 8 weeks, How would you say that your project is a success? What are the parameters on which u will judge yourself?
RS (in my mind) : Kaam bhi main karu, Parameters bhi main set karu, Judge bhi main karu....Evaluate bhi main karu....My stipend needs to be quadrapuled!! Anyways, the day I leave, project will be a success because cost of having me here would be 0.
RS (actually) : Sir, if my strategy is accepted by the company it will be a success.
MD: So, if they dont accept it, you will be a failure, right?
RS (actually) : No sir...uhmm....uhmm...
MD: Quantify it.Dont give me subjective lines.
RS (in my mind) : Quantify??!! ZERO is a quantity...should I tell him that the Proj has ZERO chance of success?! Nope...Here is what I will say...
RS (actually) : I will write around 5 blogs per week and that would make it 25 blogs/posts at the end of the proj and at the same time increase followers of my blog!
MD : Ok,I am noting it down. We will see during Final review whetehr you achive this goal.
RS (in my mind) : #$%@^&* !! What did I just say!!?? Foot in mouth...25 posts!!Itna gobber kidhar se launga?!!
RS (actually) : Sure :)
MD: Ok, tell me, Have you thought of anything "Out of the Box"..."A Radical Change" to increase the number of hits on the website...Say something that will get me a 1000 hits on the website in 1 day or 100 leads in a week..
RS (in my mind) : ROFL!ROFL!! 1000 hits 22 yrs mei bhi aaye hai kya?!!! I feel like hitting him 1000 times!!
RS (actually): Yes Sir...blah blah blah blah....I have done this, tried doing that...
MD: Ok...Good...Anything else based on ur study that you would wanna say?
RS (in my mind) : Good?! Did he pronounce "Goo" as "Good" eh?!! Well done man! :D
RS (actually) : Thank you sir...I just feel that Omnitech is lagging behind in Social media mktng compared to competitors and hence this is a "Goo"d project!Theres lot of catching up to do for the company...Blah..Blah...
MD (in his mind, m sure) : Yes Ras$%@...You dont need to tell me this...We are lagging behind in most things....you Could have said something +ve...You are screwed!!
MD (actually):Thanks. All the best.
I went back to my chair and the MD got a call and he left....Satan send he was, just for my ppt and the earlier one...The rest had a field day as MD never returned again!! Did he go to kill himself for recruting such idiots or was he in the loo laughing all the while on the presentation!!! I would never know...And it doesnt matter too....Sab ka din aata hai...I still have a smirk on my face....Was an intersting Review...Hahahahaa!!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A Tete-a-tete from OT: Guest Interviewer:- Mr AK
Its 11 am …I am sitting here in my office getting completely bored and that reminded me that I need to get my blog up and running…So, heres whats in store….My fellow intern, “Mr Anandkumar Gunasekaran and much more” has agreed to be my partner in crime and together we will be having a rendezvous…Some background about Mr AK: A perfect Tam bram from Chennai,a dream guy for any woman, hes pursuing his MBA from a reputed college down south (He doesn’t want to reveal his institute’s name and tarnish its image though he’s ready to reveal his own identity….What a man!!!) and that makes him even more desirable!! This btw is LIVE and IMPROMPTU and am already facing resistance from the interviewee…The purpose of this tete-a-tete is for the viewers to know more about Mr AK , the man of the moment and also his and mine fellow interns! Here we go….. For reference, RS is me, the interviewer and AK is the interviewee!!
RS: Hi Anandaa!! Epdii Irkaai? (showing off my ltd tamil knowledge)..Hows your stay been in Mumbai so far man?
AK: Kudiyum, kuduthanumaga irukken. ( with lot of drinks and women)
RS: Ahaaa…I heard you spent lots of money on drinks….did u spend on girls as well or u got them for freee, u STUD?
AK: Spent very little actually, about 3000 – 4000 for a week only on drinks. Girls extra…………
RS: Interesting!! So, whats the thing you will miss the most about Mumbai and then OT?
AK: The only thing I will miss from Mumbai is Dance bars. I will miss AC room, no work, cricket game and lots from OT
RS: Wont you miss ML?
AK: She will be missed most by Richy and Avinash than me ;)
RS: Describe a little about your travel from Seawoods to Andheri? What motivates you to travel 2.5 hours every morning to come to OT?
AK: There is 19 stations between seawood to Andheri, but I have never seen more than 2 stations. The first and only thing I do is to get a seat and doze off immediately. I like the way Mumbai people get in the train, it’s like a massage in the morning. The way they behave in 2nd class and 1st class is so different. In 1st class 4 persons sit in a row, but in 1st class they suddenly get sophisticated and only 3 sits in a row. I never really understand the logic.
RS: Haha! But you still haven’t answered the 2nd part…MOTIVATION???!!!5 HOURS of travel is no joke!!!What draws you to OT soo much
AK: Drinking is more fun if you are tired at the end of the day…Work doesn’t tire me, so the only way to tire myself is by travelling so much!! Also I want to see the day my mentors are actually working… Hope to see that phenomenon brings me here everyday!!!
RS: Alright Anand…The final question (I can see he’s getting bored now)…How have the fellow interns been? Did you enjoy their company (including me)? Who will you miss the most?
AK: Lets go according to the seating arrangement. So, Avinash first. To be frank, I haven’t seen a single day when his computer has been switched on for work purpose. Hes working really hard to clear FRM and not get a PPO….Hope it doesn’t happen the other way around!! If Mummy’s Kitchen (resto nearby) were a listed company on BSE, Avinash was sure to receive heavy dividends from it(maybe also because he would be the only investor!!!)
Ankit is a High achiever, as he has finished reading 4 novels. His calls to the IT managers are funniest and he keeps asking me for tips…Thanks to me he has got 2 appointments and doesn’t seem likely that he will get any more!
Hemanth is a Very sincere guy who was last seen working on 13th April (2nd day of Internship) and after that he’s hardly to be seen in office!
Amiyesh….Where is he man?!! He actually was the most hard working guy but he too isn’t turning up since 2 days!! Maybe client call…but whatever it is, without doubt, the most sincere and the only guy who deserves a PPO…but to think of it…maybe not…would be a curse in disguise! But he wont be a good fit for OT, as they seem to hire only people who are lazy and hate working!
Ronak’s got the best job in here, blogging, orkuting, twitting and so on….but may be its worst job, what can he write about the company that doesn’t have anything to write about. The best part of him is he brings the chenna, groundnuts to office, for which there will be fight to eat. Since he doesn’t have any work, he keeps writing some craps, this interview is also a part of it to kill his time.
Suma is the only lady among the lads, she fits in perfectly in the example of “Rotten Eggs”…The only one to give a tough competition to Amiyesh, she too seems to have given up on this Company thanks to the lads esp Richy – The Badmaash Company!!!
Richy is the hero of this pot boiler..His day starts at 1pm when he joins us straight for lunch, checks his stock portfolio till 3:30 and then if mood permits, he makes some calls to his friends on pretext of working and yes, first to leave the office at 4:30!!
Aditya is a Perfect foil for Richy…be it coming to office at 12pm or checking NSE/BSE!! At times they both collaborate too and trust me, in few months time, I am sure they can beat OT’s profits too (which btw isn’t too much anyways!!!)
Sharaque…The man with the “Games PC” …He occupies the hottest seat though hes hardly seen there…He’s driven out as soon as he tries to sit, not that he minds!
Prasad…The man who joined 2 weeks later and was envied by all as he got to sit amongst the girls of HR dept…but that envy lasted precisely for 30 mins….seeing those HR ladies, we pitied him and continue to do so!! Hes the latest one to become a Cricket fanatic in the basement!
RS: Wow AK! That was awesome! For all the readers, AK is the ever smiling, hard working bugger who keeps writing documents after documents even though he knows that ultimately they are going to land up just at one place: Recycle Bin!!!
That’s a good 1 hour of time pass!! Time to sign off….Keep reading!!
RS: Hi Anandaa!! Epdii Irkaai? (showing off my ltd tamil knowledge)..Hows your stay been in Mumbai so far man?
AK: Kudiyum, kuduthanumaga irukken. ( with lot of drinks and women)
RS: Ahaaa…I heard you spent lots of money on drinks….did u spend on girls as well or u got them for freee, u STUD?
AK: Spent very little actually, about 3000 – 4000 for a week only on drinks. Girls extra…………
RS: Interesting!! So, whats the thing you will miss the most about Mumbai and then OT?
AK: The only thing I will miss from Mumbai is Dance bars. I will miss AC room, no work, cricket game and lots from OT
RS: Wont you miss ML?
AK: She will be missed most by Richy and Avinash than me ;)
RS: Describe a little about your travel from Seawoods to Andheri? What motivates you to travel 2.5 hours every morning to come to OT?
AK: There is 19 stations between seawood to Andheri, but I have never seen more than 2 stations. The first and only thing I do is to get a seat and doze off immediately. I like the way Mumbai people get in the train, it’s like a massage in the morning. The way they behave in 2nd class and 1st class is so different. In 1st class 4 persons sit in a row, but in 1st class they suddenly get sophisticated and only 3 sits in a row. I never really understand the logic.
RS: Haha! But you still haven’t answered the 2nd part…MOTIVATION???!!!5 HOURS of travel is no joke!!!What draws you to OT soo much
AK: Drinking is more fun if you are tired at the end of the day…Work doesn’t tire me, so the only way to tire myself is by travelling so much!! Also I want to see the day my mentors are actually working… Hope to see that phenomenon brings me here everyday!!!
RS: Alright Anand…The final question (I can see he’s getting bored now)…How have the fellow interns been? Did you enjoy their company (including me)? Who will you miss the most?
AK: Lets go according to the seating arrangement. So, Avinash first. To be frank, I haven’t seen a single day when his computer has been switched on for work purpose. Hes working really hard to clear FRM and not get a PPO….Hope it doesn’t happen the other way around!! If Mummy’s Kitchen (resto nearby) were a listed company on BSE, Avinash was sure to receive heavy dividends from it(maybe also because he would be the only investor!!!)
Ankit is a High achiever, as he has finished reading 4 novels. His calls to the IT managers are funniest and he keeps asking me for tips…Thanks to me he has got 2 appointments and doesn’t seem likely that he will get any more!
Hemanth is a Very sincere guy who was last seen working on 13th April (2nd day of Internship) and after that he’s hardly to be seen in office!
Amiyesh….Where is he man?!! He actually was the most hard working guy but he too isn’t turning up since 2 days!! Maybe client call…but whatever it is, without doubt, the most sincere and the only guy who deserves a PPO…but to think of it…maybe not…would be a curse in disguise! But he wont be a good fit for OT, as they seem to hire only people who are lazy and hate working!
Ronak’s got the best job in here, blogging, orkuting, twitting and so on….but may be its worst job, what can he write about the company that doesn’t have anything to write about. The best part of him is he brings the chenna, groundnuts to office, for which there will be fight to eat. Since he doesn’t have any work, he keeps writing some craps, this interview is also a part of it to kill his time.
Suma is the only lady among the lads, she fits in perfectly in the example of “Rotten Eggs”…The only one to give a tough competition to Amiyesh, she too seems to have given up on this Company thanks to the lads esp Richy – The Badmaash Company!!!
Richy is the hero of this pot boiler..His day starts at 1pm when he joins us straight for lunch, checks his stock portfolio till 3:30 and then if mood permits, he makes some calls to his friends on pretext of working and yes, first to leave the office at 4:30!!
Aditya is a Perfect foil for Richy…be it coming to office at 12pm or checking NSE/BSE!! At times they both collaborate too and trust me, in few months time, I am sure they can beat OT’s profits too (which btw isn’t too much anyways!!!)
Sharaque…The man with the “Games PC” …He occupies the hottest seat though hes hardly seen there…He’s driven out as soon as he tries to sit, not that he minds!
Prasad…The man who joined 2 weeks later and was envied by all as he got to sit amongst the girls of HR dept…but that envy lasted precisely for 30 mins….seeing those HR ladies, we pitied him and continue to do so!! Hes the latest one to become a Cricket fanatic in the basement!
RS: Wow AK! That was awesome! For all the readers, AK is the ever smiling, hard working bugger who keeps writing documents after documents even though he knows that ultimately they are going to land up just at one place: Recycle Bin!!!
That’s a good 1 hour of time pass!! Time to sign off….Keep reading!!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Warming up....
The main and the only purpose of starting this blog is to write what I like to and not write what I am told to by others which is gibberish...From writing ABCDEFGH....as asked by our Primary school teachers to writing/copying assignments because our Professors ask us to ...this is one medium to write all tht u want with nothing at stake!!! You cant even die in peace....u got to write your WILL for your relatives, children, spouse etc,of coz, I am assuming, I'll make enough money worth writing a Will....Going by my current financial health, if I were to make my will now, the Stamp paper would cost more than the amount I have!!!
Random thoughts....and this is what you can expect from me! As the URL goes...m still grappling with my identity, trying to know myself and in the process I'm sure, me as well as my friends will ask: "Ronkaun"???!!
Lets see if I manage to find an answer ...When I do...The blog will end and the new blog will be "yehhairon.blogspot.com"!!! Woohooo!!
Random thoughts....and this is what you can expect from me! As the URL goes...m still grappling with my identity, trying to know myself and in the process I'm sure, me as well as my friends will ask: "Ronkaun"???!!
Lets see if I manage to find an answer ...When I do...The blog will end and the new blog will be "yehhairon.blogspot.com"!!! Woohooo!!
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