Shareholder Letter '20-21' -"Tale of culture during WFH"

While the subject line is a click-bait , its also the most familiar and ingrained sight for every Prione/Amazon employee from Day 1(there we go!). With that said, I am sure most of the below writeup would also ring a bell as I share some snippets of how our daily life in WFH scenario is being influenced by the "company culture". As homes became offices in the pandemic, it was a matter of time before the office / company culture seeped into the homes of working couples and houses start operating like the way company does.Here we go:

Just as every meeting in office starts with voice of customer(VoC), our day starts with VoC (Voice of Corona) where we either read the morning newspaper or listen to news that tells us about Corona. We not just focus on Corona but obsess over it and start working backwards from it by gulping turmeric milk, gargling salt water , having ayurvedic kadha etc. We have seen an improvement in NPS (Net Pandemic Score) due to these interventions and will continue doubling down on them. 

Post VoC,once we as a family are confident to surge ahead for the day, we move towards JBP - Jaadu-Bartan-Pocha where we pick the assigned tools and resources (read: broom, soap, rag etc) and start optimizing to deliver results. Needless to say, there is a peer review done by the spouse for each other’s work to point out the misses- like me pointing to the corners of the house which aren’t swept or my wife pointing to soap residue on the vessels cleaned by me. These compliance checks and umpteen feedbacks have ensured that in 6 months, I have put all the SO(a)Ps in place and eventually become a BAR”tan” Raiser !!! 

In Q3’20, due to bandwidth constraints, we observed misses in JBP adherence which has forced us to introduce mechanisms like WBR (Was Bartan Routine done?) & RCA (Roster of Cleaning Activities).We also saw opportunities to automate certain repetitive tasks through product interventions like robot vacuum cleaner , dishwasher etc for which we have proposed a one time budget of INR 0.1 MM (+100% vs 2019 spends) which is under review as its dependent on the bonus/PLLTB of Q1 2021.

 

Cooking new dishes everyday is now a part of mine and my wife’s IDP (Individual development plan). Due to poor performance in first 3 months of the lockdown, we were put into CP (Cooking Plan) and were asked to enrol ourselves on “Tarla Dalal’s” youtube channel as a part of formal skill development plan. Weekly check ins and monthly 1-1s are done by our respective in-laws to ensure there is progress on this front. To keep ourselves healthy, we monitor critical health metrics like ODR (Oil & Dairy intake Rate) & LSR (Late sleeping rate). We have instituted SRP (Self Reward Programs) to keep ourselves motivated during the pandemic wherein we allow ourselves a binge night every week, on achievement of health goals. 

An important cog in our wheel is our son and for him, we have ear-marked 1pm-2pm everyday as “SON-TIME” where we Ngage, connect and check on him. To ensure we are being good parents and course correct if necessary, we ask him 2 questions daily “How are you feeling today?” & “How satisfied are you with your parents?”. Any misses from our end gets flagged off to his grand-parents which then comes to us as a “?” , requiring us to deep dive and submit a CoE. 

Finally, we believe our role requires up-scoping in coming year considering the complexities that have come up as well as to ensure GMS (Good Mental Space)share is intact. 

 Its still DAY 1 (No!!!!!!!!!)

 ***Nothing to attach from 1997*** 

 Ronak

Bringing 'Work-Culture' , Home!!!

When you work at home during weekends or after office hours, you would usually hear your spouse or parents or friends complain saying - "Hey! Dont get your work, home" and then you feel guilty and shut your laptop after repeated taunts on "Work-Life Balance".While this is the usual concept of bringing work, home , the latest phenomenon is to "Bring 'work-culture', home" and when that happens, your near & dear ones might be at their wits end! Below are some day to day situations which are getting influenced due to the work culture- could be -borrowed, imagined, actually-experienced but something we all maybe relate to! (PS: to be read in a lighter vein)

Situation 1: Parents & unmarried son
Mom: "I have been asking you to speak to that girl and atleast see if you both gel along. You are 30 now and I am worried about your marriage."

Employee-Son: "Mom, request you to book a slot for me for the Phone screen round from 1pm to 2pm, post which I will decide if I want to call her on-site!"

After 2pm....

Mom: " So, how was it, Son?"

Employee-son: " Mom, I am marginally inclined, not very sure about her maturity but you should setup another round with Dad to check if she is a fit for the role of a wife."

Dad(after Phone screen-2): "Not Inclined"!

Mom(now, assimilating the culture): "Please share detailed notes"!!

Situation 2: Husband, wife & maid

Husband: "Why did you fire the maid?Now who will do the cleaning of the house etc?"

Employee-Wife: " The maid was not showing any 'BAI-as' for action". I even coached her and kept the neighbour's maid as her mentor to help her ramp up in terms of faster cleaning of vessels etc. But even after 6 weeks, her productivity is below the overall building's maids.

Husband: "But what will we do now?Atleast she did something. Now we have no one.

Wife: " Dont worry, I have opened a request with watchman to look out for a suitable candidate externally. In parallel, I am looking internally in our building- for eg: Maid at Mrs Mehta was looking to grow and considering our house is big and little more complex, would be a good opportunity. However, Mrs Mehta first needs to recruit a backfill, post which she will confirm the movement!"

Husband(now, assimilating the culture): "And who will do the NHO????!!"


Situation 3: Son & Father

School going Son: " Dad, I want to go to Manali with my friends."

Employee- Dad: " Sure son. Can you quickly write a one pager in terms of what are you planning to do there, the roadmap and overall cost?"

After 1 day,Son sincerely does the needful....

Employee-Dad: "Thanks for this. You should use Calibri font size 10, son & stick to the word limit with more details in terms of 'how' rather than 'what'.

Frustrated-son: " But Dad, I am writing with my pencil!!!!" plus you yourself asked me 'what' are you planning to do there"!!

And after above 3 situations, imagine the 'employee' at a bar, away from daily hustle bustle,trying to unwind.

Situation 4: Alone at a bar

Employee(to waiter): "Get me a beer with some fries."

After tasting the food...

Employee(to the waiter): " You guys need to work customer backwards and obsess over us. Such bad food will impact your Cx & make you Least Effective"

Waiter: " We take your feedback and will improve"

Employee(to the waiter): " Yes, kindly build on your super-power. I expect you to raise the bar , next time I come here"

Waiter: "But Sir, we are already on the top-most floor of this 40 storeyed building!!!!"

AHME-DA BAD, -DA GOOD & -DA UGLY

Yea! Its one of those cases where I thought of the title first and then about the content! To set the context- I was introduced to Ahmedabad in May 2012 when I was transferred as Area Sales Manager-Gujarat from Area Sales Manager-UP(East)! It was in May 2012 when UP had a severe sand-storm & I attribute it mainly to the 'HUGE SIGH of RELIEF' that came out from me. Post that, changed jobs,got married, yet stayed like a bachelor but place of work remained same! What has changed over the last few months is that now I have my wife with me here and we rented a good apartment.So,Ahmedabad became more cosmopolitan as % of Non Gujaratis increased by 1 to 5 out of 50 lacs! That is the context and now lets get started on DA UGLY {I am a believer in Happy endings}.

(For all future references , the city of Ahmedabad will be referred to as "A")


I) "AHME-DA UGLY"

a) Traffic sense: People of A dont have an essel world, disney land , forget River rafting, Bungee jumping etc. Maximum level of adventure ends at having Jalebi, Gathya, chutney, Kadhi for sunday breakfast & Undhyu with dry fruits for lunch and Panipuri,Dahi Puri,Ragda Patties for dinner , all of these interspersed with deep fried snacks through the day-family history of high cholestrol and BP not-withstanding! So, all their pent-up 'Adventurism' comes out on the road. Gujarat Govt must be lauded for nice and wide roads but for the kind of people driving on these, nothing is good enough or wide enough. When a child is growing, parents let him/her go out, play, get bruised, dirty etc (~ Daag Achche Hai). In Ahmedabad, this extends into youth, adulthood and oldage with a difference being that the 'once upon a time Kid' is armed with a 2 wheeler/4 wheeler now & has the license to not just bruise his vehicle but also others' -after all, they belong to the same clan! What with every vehicle here having signs of "DENT OK PLEASE".

For newbies, few 'A Traffic rules' that will help your transition :

- 'Free left' means free right,U turn,reverse,straight,Stop and basically block anyone who actually wants to take that free left!
- When they say 'No Hand Signal' , does not mean they will use the car signals. It means watch out for a leg peeping out to the right or left- thats where they are planning to turn to!
- Last lane is dedicated for vehicles to drive in opposite direction at full speed.
- Honking is as effective as someone trying to interrupt Arnab.


II) "AHME-DA BAD"

a) Weather: Its not the city's fault but then someone has to take the blame for people's inefficiencies, low productivity and laidback attitude.And what better than something that you just cant control. Its either too cold, too hot or too wet for people here and on a perfect day they are on leave attending marriages or finishing household chores.No wonder, people start their own 'bijness' with extended family partnering each other here as no one trusts employing someone else thinking 'what if he is also as lazy as I am, who will run my bijness then?" Frankly, the winter is a pleasant change from fake-winters of Mumbai and scanty rains is a great relief from deluge of Mumbai. What saps you the most is the dry summer heat. So, if you are indoors, you switch on the AC, fan and your internet to check the prices of Air cooler.

Some fun observations:
-Kind hearted Gujjus put water in bowls outisde their balconies for the thirsty birds & by the time a bird comes , water would have evaporated!
- Snack shops add an extra item on their menu- There is always an oil dabeli, butter dabeli & cheese dabeli. Add 'Sweat dabeli' ;summer special!And that explains my next point...
- In summers, more people get sick of 'EAT STROKE' than 'HEAT STROKE'!


III) "AHME-DA GOOD"

a) Safety: Just like when people hear Delhi and picture a monster stalking you and harming you , A has building aunties doing that but without causing any tangible harm! Red marks on roads, walls,stairs is NOT blood. Its just a melange of Pan Parag/Manikchand, tobacco, spit,bacteria,virus etc- basically its healthy food for TB causing bacteria! But on a more serious note, Ahmedabad is safe at all times and maybe because there are limited things to do here except go out & eat! Even thieves have limited options for robbing/pick-pocketing! Also, staying in joint families means that someone or the other will be in the house all the time shutting off the option of home-robberies! Girls on 2 wheelers with their bandanas, shawls and scarves look more dangerous than the thieves and if that 2 wheeler is moving, you better not be anywhere near it! People are super helpful , even if you dont need the help but then thats the hospitality of Vibrant Gujarat. In school we would have "Open House" every few months, in A its an everyday phenomenon. Sometimes you may have more neighbours in your house than your own family members with decibel levels that can scare off even an Al-Qaeda terrorist, forget a petty thief.

Safety tips for newbies:

-The day you come,just feed your neighbours, co-workers etc with Dhoklas,Faafda,Khaakhras and other typical Gujju food. These 'missile sounding' snacks act like a 'Lemon-Chilly/Nimbu-Mirchi' in Ahmedabad, warding off any evil eye!
- If you ride a 2 wheeler, wear a helmet to save your hair from smelling of Pan Parag that comes out from Buses.{unless you think it works well as a conditioner}



Now, you may wonder, where is that aspect of 'A' that literally defines it. I am confused in which bracket it would fall under. It deserves more space than what I have given it, for, had it not been for "FOOD" , what would I have done when I was not hungry, satiated, tummy filled to the brim ?! Yes, it deserves a dedicated article...

For now,I end this post with some tid bits of "AHME DA FOOD":

- In winter, Jignes will start a "Bhajiya/Wada" stall. Come summer, it becomes a "Gola/Soda" stall and come monsoon, he is not to be seen at that spot. He has made enough 'Kes'(Cash) to open his new permanent multi-cuisine outlet!
- Veggies when tasted raw are not sweet! All of them become sweet after cooking! Same for pulses, cereals etc , just don't try tasting them raw!
- 'Way to man's heart is through his stomach'; but what do you do if his heart is also his stomach and so are all his organs! Ahmedabad's men are capable of chewing a pan, storing it in side of the cheek, sipping Sprite alongwith hot bhajiyas, none of which interact with each other in the mouth, as they make space for hot Puri and undhyu , all of this while still talking and laughing! Thus, the concept of multiple stomachs each having its defined storage capacity - 'Infinite'!

Mumbai traffic brings out the writer in me!

For some ,the serene river or the waves on the beach or scenic mountains bring out the poets/writers in them....And for someone not so fortunate like yours truly it was Andheri traffic. The definitions of certain traffic terms for a Mumbaikar:- Pedestrian:2 legged creature who has one foot on the main road and the other on...Divider & always on the lookout for gaps between vehicles. Highway:an empty stretch of 20meters where vehicles accelerate to a speed of 180kmph only to end in a screeching brake the next second. Cars:4 wheeled vehicles that need release of brakes & clutch to run & who's mileage is calculated in "Honks/km". Bikes:Serpent like vehicles meant to sometimes tickle & more likely scratch & bruise the pedestrians & cars alike. BEST buses:10 foot wide mammoth on a 11 foot wide road fulfilling your lungs annual quota of toxic gases in a day if you are anywhere near it. Auto Rickshaws:A 3WMD(3 wheeler of mass destruction) with 50 cc engine perennially on a Nitro boost(Whether stationary or in motion) invented only to be cursed by all vehicles that passby it.

UP wala Thumkaa

Ki Chali? Badhiya chali? Bhojan kari? Baat samjhi? Bhaisanwaa doodh di?

Now the adjectives you would use to describe the state of UP would be say: Huge,Rough,Uncouth etc. Basically everything quite Manly! But the irony is their sentences end in a feminine way as you would have realised from the 1st sentence!

This blog post is just to share some of the small conversations I have had with various people during this Sales stint which have made me a more knowledgeable as a person and fit to appear in BQC- Bhojpuri Quiz Contest!

Sample this:

Me: Kitna hua bhaiyaa?
Auto Driver: 15 rupaiya
Me: Yeh lijiye (handing him Rs 50 note)
Auto Driver: Bhaiyaa, "FUT-KAR" paise dijiye!

And for a Mumbai guy who uses the word "Fut" to ask someone 'to Get lost', I was wondering how I can pay the driver after "getting lost"! Anyways, all that the rough sounding word meant was "Change"!

And changed I am. For a guy who probably spoke just 3 words/day, mostly them being- "I AM HUNGRY" or in worst case 4 words/day - "I AM VERY HUNGRY", I now had no option but to rant day in & day out- The rule of Sales!

Sample this now- How the innocuous appearing phrase "BY THE WAY" is (mis)used by most people here!

Me: Kitna dhandha hoga yeh mahine?
Sales Officer1: 10 lakh
Me: Pakka na?
USAGE No# 1
Sales Officer1: Pakka Sir...But maan lijiye "BY THE WAY" stock nahi mila toh kaise karunga?
Usage No# 2
Sales Officer 2: Sir, 5 saal se,har mahine main mera target karta hoon...Bass "BY THE WAY" kuch gadbad hua toh hi nahi hota!

Lesson learnt: By the way = "WORST Case/Just in Case"

Of course, when in UP you arent far away from the Bhojpuri movies with posters plastered on every wall, especially the walls where men pee....mostly!
And the posters which are similar irrespective of the movie title give away the story:
A general looking poster--
Left half of the poster: 3 dangerous looking men who would be laughing, a simple guy, an innocent looking lady who appears to be in trouble and a group of semi naked women dancing
Centre: A tigeress or some ferocious looking animal
Right Half of the poster: Innocent looking lady is now a Police Officer or a Bandit Queen, with her gun pointing towards one of those 3 dangerous looking guy

And if you still dont get the story by looking at the posters, the movie titles are a complete giveaway:
Eg: "Phoolwa bani PhoolanDevi", "Rang Le chunariya, rang mei tohaar" , "Devra bada sataavela"!!


Trivia: Titanic in Bhojpuri is :"Nauka dile Dhoka"! hohoohoho!!

Ending this post with something that I am curious to find out considering every word here ends with "waa"

How would this be said in Bhojpuri:

"THE CROW IS EATING GUAVA! WAAH! WAAH! "

My attempt: "Kauwawaaaa guavaawaa khaawati! WAAHwaaa WAAHwaaa WAAHWaaaa WAAHwaaa WAAHwaaa...(never ending loop)"

INFLATION !

"Yawnnnnnn"!! That could be your first reaction,right?

And u think am going to reproduce another Eco-times article here with measures RBI is taking to curb the inflation rate, about how it has jacked up interest rates to cool down inflation, about how aam-aadmi is being molested by these news every morning etc etc??!!!....Well, in effect I did manage to summarize the "Inflation-news" for the "Non-ET-reading" species!
Anyways, my take on the much hated 9 lettered word called "INFLATION" is with respect to... WEI-- {wait for it....(oops I said it!!!)} --GHT!
Ok, Its WEIGHT!{ Barney effect}

In these times of Inflation (the economic one), its amazing how I see people around me look inflated. Ashamed to admit, but I am no different.

Food items are expensive,
Excessive eating makes you fat,
College going kids are always short of money,
"I am putting on kgs after kgs"!!

Well if you are going to apply the "A=B & B=C then A=C " rule here to the above 4 lines, its not going to fit...just like my clothes now-a-days! :-(

Sample this:

An aunty comes to my house and first thing she says,
Aunty: "Hey you have put onnn....*PAUSE*PAUSE*"

And I check for the following things:

1- My head {to see what have I "PUT ON" my head).
Me: "No aunty, Its MY hair, I havent "PUT ON" a wig!"

2- My accent {to see if I suddenly have "PUT ON" an accent}
Me: "But Aunty, I havent even spoken yet...Ok, I did now, but fake accent is a "PUT OFF" ,right??"

3- My face { to check if someone "PUT ON" some makeup whilst I was asleep}
Me: " Awwww....Aunty, U make me blush..hehe...I just look good.Period "

And soon the realisation dawned...When she pointed her dreaded Index finger in the direction of .....OH MY GOD...my "Inflated Tummy"!!!

So, thats what the equation is: *PAUSE*PAUSE* = WEIGHT !!

And so, the sentence that I thought was incomplete without a noun...Well, thats one of the most-often used sentences around me nowadays! And I know why this seems to be happening....I guess I missed the most important 5th line to my "4 liner":

Line1--Food items are expensive,
Line2--Excessive eating makes you fat,
Line3--College going kids are always short of money,
Line4--"I am Putting on kgs after kgs"!!
......And the missing line.....
Line5-- The Indian middle class and younger age bracket is Shining!

And after having given 100s of GDs recently and in preparation read many many magazines and newspapers, I bet, theres a stiff competition between the 4th & 5th line, with respect to which one's spoken more often!

AaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh....M sick of them!!!

Let me enjoy INFLATION in times of INFLATION!!!!! Burrrrpppp!

'TIME'ly retard!!

Why?Why?Why? Why am I blogging now..NOW...during my exams... when I didnt even bother looking at it during the past 2 months or so when I had no exam pressure!?!! Infact in the last 3 days , watched 2 movies!

This brings me to the questionable streak in me (and many others, am sure). The streak of " longing to do things when they can easily be avoided"! Another instance: A 8 day Jain fest is going on where we are supposed to be fasting (ideally) or atleast eat Jain food (suits me)...However, this is the time when I crave, lust and just lust for a Wada pav or a Schezwan Dosa...whereas I havent even remotely shown interest in consuming it in the past few weeks! Must say though...commendably, I havent given in to the temptation {patting my back}.

This brings me to the thing about "temptation"!!! What would life be without it? Naah...Not a tempting thought! There's this constant fight between cognition & temptation and no guesses which one wins!

Winning! This brings me back to reality...to the famous dialogue of 3 Idiots "Life eej a race...and u goto run fast to Win" {or something to that effect}...

Exams coming up...gotto run...else I'll be beaten ...Ok! Whatever!

Too many temptations...Consumer behaviour, Environment Management, Marketing research....All can wait!

Considering the trend of this post, I have been tempted by the last words of previous paras....Trust me, none of the above subjects need a mention or elaboration here!!!

At present its Champions League, more specifically- "Mumbai Indians" that beckons! Ala re Ala!

Which just BRINGS me to the end of this post.....What a retard!