UP wala Thumkaa

Ki Chali? Badhiya chali? Bhojan kari? Baat samjhi? Bhaisanwaa doodh di?

Now the adjectives you would use to describe the state of UP would be say: Huge,Rough,Uncouth etc. Basically everything quite Manly! But the irony is their sentences end in a feminine way as you would have realised from the 1st sentence!

This blog post is just to share some of the small conversations I have had with various people during this Sales stint which have made me a more knowledgeable as a person and fit to appear in BQC- Bhojpuri Quiz Contest!

Sample this:

Me: Kitna hua bhaiyaa?
Auto Driver: 15 rupaiya
Me: Yeh lijiye (handing him Rs 50 note)
Auto Driver: Bhaiyaa, "FUT-KAR" paise dijiye!

And for a Mumbai guy who uses the word "Fut" to ask someone 'to Get lost', I was wondering how I can pay the driver after "getting lost"! Anyways, all that the rough sounding word meant was "Change"!

And changed I am. For a guy who probably spoke just 3 words/day, mostly them being- "I AM HUNGRY" or in worst case 4 words/day - "I AM VERY HUNGRY", I now had no option but to rant day in & day out- The rule of Sales!

Sample this now- How the innocuous appearing phrase "BY THE WAY" is (mis)used by most people here!

Me: Kitna dhandha hoga yeh mahine?
Sales Officer1: 10 lakh
Me: Pakka na?
USAGE No# 1
Sales Officer1: Pakka Sir...But maan lijiye "BY THE WAY" stock nahi mila toh kaise karunga?
Usage No# 2
Sales Officer 2: Sir, 5 saal se,har mahine main mera target karta hoon...Bass "BY THE WAY" kuch gadbad hua toh hi nahi hota!

Lesson learnt: By the way = "WORST Case/Just in Case"

Of course, when in UP you arent far away from the Bhojpuri movies with posters plastered on every wall, especially the walls where men pee....mostly!
And the posters which are similar irrespective of the movie title give away the story:
A general looking poster--
Left half of the poster: 3 dangerous looking men who would be laughing, a simple guy, an innocent looking lady who appears to be in trouble and a group of semi naked women dancing
Centre: A tigeress or some ferocious looking animal
Right Half of the poster: Innocent looking lady is now a Police Officer or a Bandit Queen, with her gun pointing towards one of those 3 dangerous looking guy

And if you still dont get the story by looking at the posters, the movie titles are a complete giveaway:
Eg: "Phoolwa bani PhoolanDevi", "Rang Le chunariya, rang mei tohaar" , "Devra bada sataavela"!!


Trivia: Titanic in Bhojpuri is :"Nauka dile Dhoka"! hohoohoho!!

Ending this post with something that I am curious to find out considering every word here ends with "waa"

How would this be said in Bhojpuri:

"THE CROW IS EATING GUAVA! WAAH! WAAH! "

My attempt: "Kauwawaaaa guavaawaa khaawati! WAAHwaaa WAAHwaaa WAAHWaaaa WAAHwaaa WAAHwaaa...(never ending loop)"