Summer Project Review: Hahahaha!!!

"You have a new mail" was a pop-up on my Outlook at 5pm on Wed(19th May)..It said
"The 2nd Summer Project review is scheduled tomorrow,20th May 12 noon onwards as per the below schedule in the Board Room.PFA template for the ppt. Revert for queries, if any."

Ronak Shah: 13:10 to 13:20

Now what the Ppt has to consist of is:
1)Objective of the project
2) Project Outline
3) Learnings from the project
4) Challenges faced, if any
5) Feedback/ Suggestions, if any

And this is where my "hahahaha" began! Thinking of what to write for each should have in normal circumstances made me shiver in my unpolished, soiled boots but somehow I couldnt resist the LOL!!!The phrase "if any" should have been added this way:
1) Objective of the project, IF ANY
2) Project Outline, IF ANY
3) Learnings from the project, IF ANY
4) Challenges faced, it's MANY
5) Feedback/ Suggestions, it's MANY
10 mins of gibberish needs to be filled and I managed to do that.Challenge was to present this bull crap to MD-CEO and VP and probably then they would have the last laugh..."hahahaaha"...

Well...What happened inside the board room during those 6-8 mins was def funny even though I was at the receiving end!!


MD: I am running short of time, you have exactly 5 mins to wrap up!

RS (in my mind) : Wowwww.....Sure sir,I can do it in 3 mins...wanna bet ur bottomline?

RS (actually) : Blah Blah Blah Blah....Objective,Outline...Blah blah blah

MD: Ok..Fine..Now tell me, At the end of 8 weeks, How would you say that your project is a success? What are the parameters on which u will judge yourself?

RS (in my mind) : Kaam bhi main karu, Parameters bhi main set karu, Judge bhi main karu....Evaluate bhi main karu....My stipend needs to be quadrapuled!! Anyways, the day I leave, project will be a success because cost of having me here would be 0.

RS (actually) : Sir, if my strategy is accepted by the company it will be a success.

MD: So, if they dont accept it, you will be a failure, right?

RS (actually) : No sir...uhmm....uhmm...

MD: Quantify it.Dont give me subjective lines.

RS (in my mind) : Quantify??!! ZERO is a quantity...should I tell him that the Proj has ZERO chance of success?! Nope...Here is what I will say...

RS (actually) : I will write around 5 blogs per week and that would make it 25 blogs/posts at the end of the proj and at the same time increase followers of my blog!

MD : Ok,I am noting it down. We will see during Final review whetehr you achive this goal.

RS (in my mind) : #$%@^&* !! What did I just say!!?? Foot in mouth...25 posts!!Itna gobber kidhar se launga?!!

RS (actually) : Sure :)

MD: Ok, tell me, Have you thought of anything "Out of the Box"..."A Radical Change" to increase the number of hits on the website...Say something that will get me a 1000 hits on the website in 1 day or 100 leads in a week..

RS (in my mind) : ROFL!ROFL!! 1000 hits 22 yrs mei bhi aaye hai kya?!!! I feel like hitting him 1000 times!!

RS (actually): Yes Sir...blah blah blah blah....I have done this, tried doing that...

MD: Ok...Good...Anything else based on ur study that you would wanna say?

RS (in my mind) : Good?! Did he pronounce "Goo" as "Good" eh?!! Well done man! :D

RS (actually) : Thank you sir...I just feel that Omnitech is lagging behind in Social media mktng compared to competitors and hence this is a "Goo"d project!Theres lot of catching up to do for the company...Blah..Blah...

MD (in his mind, m sure) : Yes Ras$%@...You dont need to tell me this...We are lagging behind in most things....you Could have said something +ve...You are screwed!!

MD (actually):Thanks. All the best.

I went back to my chair and the MD got a call and he left....Satan send he was, just for my ppt and the earlier one...The rest had a field day as MD never returned again!! Did he go to kill himself for recruting such idiots or was he in the loo laughing all the while on the presentation!!! I would never know...And it doesnt matter too....Sab ka din aata hai...I still have a smirk on my face....Was an intersting Review...Hahahahaa!!